Jeffrey Goates
When I was a child, it shimmered
in the distance, a mystical
place too far to ride a bike.
I was accustomed to mountains.
I didn’t know about great bodies
of water or farms or boats.
We ran free in the hills and could see
the lake taking up the western valley
huddling against the Oquirrhs,
a black void at night,
gray green blue transience
in the light.
A steel mill near the shore
Flared in the gloaming, a light
I thought was grace of God
and sometimes Dad drove us in a blue Rambler
to the marina to walk along the jetty, stare
into blank space,
smell water, hear birds, feel heavier
moister air. In winter, great heaped chunks
of ice beckoned us
to a place too dangerous
to approach, one rare mystery
of our valley left unexplored.
Teenagers, on our own, we drove
lakeside dirt roads at night –
a loose horse sudden in the headlights
ten feet tall with legs in the air, spooked
by the old station wagon we’d taken
without our parents’ permission
and in the scare I discovered
the best way to get a tight excited
hug from Marisa – love unrequited.
On that water I learned
seasickness, waterskiing, bikinis,
death: on graduation day our classmate went under,
washed up three days later
among the reeds, confirming the peaks
and canyons were my place.
Now from these hills I still
see this anti-mirage, unique among these
basins amid the ranges and understand
transience, fragility. Thirst. Once
not even a century ago, we
used up all the water
from this thin veneer that quenches the thirst
of birds, orchards, June suckers,
forgives our abuses, offers
bounty.
Transience
Growing up in Utah Valley, Jeffrey Goates came to love and appreciate Utah Lake for its beauty and uniqueness, always assuming it would be a constant presence. He fears how the loss of this special body of water would affect his attachment to this place.
Susan Izatt-Foster
One late summer afternoon not long ago, avoiding the hectic drive on I-15 from southwestern Utah to Salt Lake City, I left the freeway at Santaquin. I took Highway 6 and then 68, which curves gently around the western side of Utah Lake. I had not seen Utah Lake up close for years. Decades. But the loveliness was still there: cool green water lapping against the shore, long grasses blowing in the wind, summer sun dancing like a million colored diamonds across the lake’s surface. There was not a person in sight, nor could I see any houses, farms, or other buildings. If I looked across the lake at just the right angle, I could see Mount Timpanogos in its place in the row of eastern mountains, standing like eternal sentinels across the background of my childhood memories: the yawning mouth of Provo Canyon, Cascade Mountain, Rock Canyon, Provo Peak, Y Mountain, the Mapleton Mountains—all watching over the ongoing story of the valley. From this viewpoint it was as though there were no towns, people, or any civilization at all between the mountains and the lake. I thought this must have been the way it had appeared to the Native Americans, early explorers, and pioneer settlers all those years ago.
In the 1960s, my teenage years, Utah Lake was still half wild—a place to picnic and play, to explore and imagine, to gather marsh grasses, wildflowers, and of course colored leaves in autumn. Walking along the shore, we may have seen a chipmunk or two, a sandhill crane, a curious owl observing the scene from high in a tree, or any number of a large variety of ducks—especially during the spring and fall migration seasons. Mule deer would watch from the spotted shade of tamarisk and Russian olive trees. A waking bat might dive into a cloud of insects as the setting sun spread across the top of the Lake Mountains.
Local gossip had us believe that, despite its pastoral, pristine appearance, a mystery haunted Utah Lake. Long before any of us were born, a young girl had died after falling from a tree near the shore. The story alluded to suspicious circumstances no one could discover and suggested the ghost of Mavis never really left the lake. She could be heard wailing in the storms and crying out on dark nights when white-capped waves slammed onto the rocky shore. Her cry was like a phantom’s death song, eerily mixed with the wild lamentations of shorebirds. It had been rumored that, during such storms, her body could be seen struggling in the churning water, her tangled hair woven into the watery wildness, her eyes glowing a deep green and red—fiery like a dragon’s. On Halloween nights, as we sat around the campfire on the shore, a full moon casting a haunting glow across the lake, we told endlessly embellished stories about Mavis. We frightened even ourselves with tales of her sightings.
In winter, Utah Lake became enchanted with layers of color and light: white snow falling through dark branches, delicate snowflakes drifting down from the sky until they looked like long ribbons of blue lace scattered over the ice. Here we spent hours skating on the ice, around and around each other, in circles and crazy-eight patterns, moving as gracefully as dancers on a ballroom floor. Above us there was only dark sky and stars. Near us, the imagined form of Mavis floated, gliding and dancing, even laughing—her thin ghostly figure as elusive as ever. The winter air was as fresh as a glass of cold water, lusty and earth scented.
…
It has been said children need wild places. In nature, a sense of home and relation to the larger world begin to take root. In the wild, our most essential learning takes place. Wild places cannot be replaced, for they are the very soul of our imagination and devotion. And when they have all gone, where will Mavis sing for us? Where will our children and our children’s children go to imagine and play, to create?
Without wild places, what will become of us?
The Ghost of Utah Lake
Susan Izatt-Foster is a fifth generation Utahn with strong roots in Utah Valley. She is a graduate of the MFA in Writing Program at Vermont College of Fine Arts. Her writing is centered around place and nature, and their critical importance to our wellbeing. She now lives at the intersection of the Colorado Plateau, the Great Basin, and the Mohave Desert.
The Foothills
Madeleine Cottle
I know these hills. Dirt
trails paved by memories
in little jean overalls,
pockets heavy with Jasper
stones, gravel wedging
into leather sandals.
Chomping dandelion leaves, sticky
sunflower stems, bitter
and biting back.
Seen from my hills, the lake
glimmers in a valley surrounded
by dried-out mountains.
Ten thousand catfish shadows
inside ten thousand waves
playing under ten thousand sunsets
over prickly plum-toned crags.
Carp swim blind in muddled water
haunting Bonneville
as Skidoos skim liquid diamonds.
I see blistering hills
marked by a heavy white Y
and I recall the ancient inland sea.
Dutch oven summers,
trekking up mountainsides
broiling hikers on the trails,
snapping sandy weeds
threatening to flash into flames.
With dust in my throat, legs burning
from inside out at the steep incline
and flickering trail,
sweaty success: salty hair
in a drooping ponytail, a dropping
sun on the lake, cooling
the steaming valley as it sets –
a blinding medal falling
through ribboned light.
October evening greets
streets paved over stolen land
named after the people
it was stolen from.
Fuchsia clouds mix with lavender
mountains to embrace the lake
below. A flag of pink, purple, blue.
From my foothills, I see
my reflection in old Bonneville
8.3 miles away.
Madeleine Cottle’s roots were planted in Utah and grow stronger each year. Seeing Utah Lake every day on her bus ride to work grounds her perspective: “Even if my bus trip only provides glimpses of Utah Lake between the houses, I feel connected to what Utah is, ancient and persevering.”
Michael William Palmer
1
When I think of my home lake I think of plague: blaze, ice, pestilence.
Dramatic language for how many times I sat in the quiet
water’s edge. But that stillness could bite. Two of the three worst sunburns
of my life ignited there and the second one I got watching
water too hard. Unwell for days after, shedding skin like a snake.
I was 12 or 13. In church it’d been said the pioneers
streamed cattle waste straight into the lake and that’s how it got to be
the butt of our jokes. Said in passing. Unusual talk for church.
I never asked how the lake got how it was. I tried to picture
its youth. Was it bluer greener clearer deeper? I couldn’t see
it. Memorization was my skill and access to the bygone.
I couldn’t remake, only read: sun on water bright as metal,
pale belly of a dead carp near the shore. Testimony that might
have given clue of the lake’s past was hidden and I never asked.
2
The lake iced over, pre-Christmas, snow growing on its surface
as if from a garden. It looked pure like that. Maybe
it was just cold. The wind wincing. This was years after the sunburn.
We were in college and Erin was moving to New York. Orem
no place for a trans woman, “or any open-hearted person”
she said. She wanted me to leave also. A flash in her
eye implied she could see what was coming, had sneak-peeked a film
she couldn’t wait to discuss. I had no clue who I was or where
to go. I resented her clarity. Her want for new so great
she couldn’t talk about it anymore and suggested we run
across the lake. I declined, stayed back, watched her go. Head forward,
strong steps, legs long. She stated no plan for when she’d turn back to “shore”
and I waited as her body was swallowed up by white. She’d tied
a white scarf around her neck, even, though that might have been the sky.
3
The next year, I sped parallel with the east shore, my first girlfriend,
Anna, with me in the car. I always wanted to love my home
lake, knew it deserving, but my love was always partial, askance.
I parked the car and instead of walking to the water, we walked
the opposite way to a dog-eared half-building of brick outside
the lake park entrance. It was hidden by trees. An unplugged freezer
in the corner. We were in there two seconds before we were swarmed.
Anna’s white shirt de-whited by wolfish mosquitoes. She was more
bite than woman at our next planned activity: watching wedding
videos of her sister with the whole family. I was grilled: “Why
would you do that?” Meaning why the lake, why today, why our daughter.
I had questions also. Why the haunted shack why backwards why not cross why carp and why is sustained attention so aching.
What I wish to see is the lake.
Home Lake Triptych
Michael Palmer grew up in Pleasant Grove, Utah, with Utah Lake's water visible from the rooftop (and blue at that distance). He lives in Illinois but still thinks about that water a lot. His first book, Baptizing the Dead and Other Jobs, was published by Bauhan Publishing in 2019. His work has appeared in Bellingham Review, CutBank, Alligator Juniper, and numerous other publications.
Rod Miller
The words “Goshen Bay” are seldom heard when talk turns to Utah Lake. But for a boy growing up in Goshen, the bay was the lake. Goshen Bay is the shallow, muddy, tepid southernmost extent of the lake as it seeps into Goshen Valley, bordered by gently rising land to the south and west, and on the east, oddly enough, by West Mountain. There were, and so far as I know still are, no improvements—no boat ramps, no beaches, no parks. The nearest attraction, Lincoln Beach, lies just around the north end of West Mountain, fronting the lake proper.
In years gone by there were high hopes for Goshen Bay. According to Raymond Duane Steele’s Goshen Valley History, an “all-water route between Goshen and Salt Lake City…would be established sometime in the near future. This proposed route contemplated a canal from the source of the Jordon [sic] River to Salt Lake City.”
There was no such talk during my boyhood in the nineteen-fifties and sixties. At least, no one in my community said much at all about the lake. But it was always there. In high water years, Goshen Bay would creep into cow pastures and hay meadows—its fluctuations likely among the reasons the town of Goshen relocated three or four times, each time moving south and farther from the lake. Most years, the bay would shrink in summer heat, leaving behind stained cattail reeds, soiled salt grass, and crusty mud flats.
But for the boys of Goshen Valley—residing in Goshen, as well as Genola, Elberta, and remote farms and ranches—Goshen Bay offered the occasional distraction.
The invasive carp fouling the lake intrigued us. I remember wading through the mud and cattails to reach the shores of the bay during spring spawning season to spear the trash fish with a pitchfork. In water only half as deep as their bodies, the carp would splash and thrash around stirring up black mud. In places, it seemed they were so thick you could walk upon their backs and never get your feet wet, and spearing them was not necessary—you could hoist and fling them out of the water using the pitchfork like a shovel.
After reading Where the Red Fern Grows, the classic novel by Wilson Rawls, I had, for a time, a fascination with coon hunting. I imagined tramping through woods at night on the track of baying hounds trailing shifty raccoons as they employed their wily ways to outsmart the pursuing dogs. I was surprised and delighted to learn that two brothers from Genola, a few years older and a grade or two ahead of me at Goshen School, ran hounds after raccoons, which were not common in our country. I was excited when they invited me on a hunt. Unfortunately, neither the boys nor their dogs had read Where the Red Fern Grows. Our hunt took place in the bright light of a summer afternoon. Rather than woods, the dogs were set loose in the brush and scattered scrubby trees on a little peninsula of sorts sticking its nose into Goshen Bay. The hounds did not flush a single raccoon. They did, however, upset a skunk sufficiently to taint the air and themselves. So much for coon hunting.
In the coldest winters, the shallow water of Goshen Bay froze. Sometimes north winds would pile ice floes from the lake into the bay, creating jumbled canyons and crevasses among the stacked sheets of thick ice, some turned upright. One winter, an adventurous uncle of mine drove onto the ice in his car and towed us around on sleds. He died on that same ice a few years later. A heart attack felled him on the frozen bay while he was hunting geese.
The easiest access to Goshen Bay, then and now, was from the road through Genola along the eastern shore. Goshen’s Center Street, which becomes Goshen Bay Road, peters out in the alkali and mud flats. On the west side, the highway is a few miles from the water, until the road reaches the Lake Mountains at the end of Goshen Valley. That road, Highway 68, is now labeled Redwood Road. Back then, we called it the West Lake Road. Before Interstate 15 opened, it was the quickest way to get to Salt Lake City, since the main road on the east side of the lake, Highway 91, slowed down for every city and town along the way, making the trip long and miserable. On the West Lake Road, however, we could travel as fast as we could talk Dad into driving, with the reward for speed a thrilling roller coaster ride over the ups and downs and humps and hollows of the old wagon road covered in asphalt.
For years, Dad worked on a ranch owned by the Mormon church near the ghost town Mosida, on the western shores of Goshen Bay. He was a cowboy and later cow boss at the ranch, riding herd through the tamarisk brakes (incorrectly known as tamaracks to locals) lining the bay, where a good cow dog was as important as a horse in gathering cows and calves. One summer saw a makeshift rodeo arena staked out in a salt grass pasture, a steer slaughtered and roasted in a pit, and a summer afternoon of horsemanship contests, calf roping, steer riding, games and races, and picnicking on spread blankets.
The ranch is gone now, forgotten like Mosida before it. Gut Goshen Bay is still there, waiting and hoping—along with the rest of Utah’s namesake lake—for a promising future. Whatever tomorrow brings, the boys from Goshen Valley will never forget our yesterdays at Goshen Bay.
Forgotten Watters
Rod Miller writes poetry, fiction, history, and magazine articles about the American West. Born and raised in Goshen, he is a graduate of Payson High School and Utah State University. Miller has written some two dozen books and has been recognized with four Western Writers of America Spur Awards along with several other honors. He lives in Sandy.
Corey J. Boren
i did not know the lake was there
until it was, gray paper
and smog and horizon spread thin
and framed by the intersection
of 1200 east and state street.
(i had drunk the ocean by this point,
polished bleached uintas,
traced the colorado river’s spine)
never conceiving such
vastness before,
i asked my father if it was a mirage,
(suburb then sea then sea then mountains,
distant and incorporeal—)
the shimmering past the trees
and the brown brick church
and the walmart and the interstate.
(i could have searched the internet,
but this was 2009, and my
father knew everything)
he furrowed his brow,
insisting that the water had always
been there,
(like when i said
i was afraid what the world
would make of us,)
the body had been watching me
drift off into sleep, forehead
pressed against the minivan window,
a thousand times,
(and you kissed my forearm
on the sandy banks)
waiting for when my small, ripe eyelids
would flutter open and look.
Clarence Thomas Releases His Concurrent
Opinion on Our Honeymoon
Corey J. Boren is a recent graduate of Utah Valley University. He has called the area around Utah Lake home since birth. His work grapples with place, tradition, and queerness, and he was longlisted for the Button Poetry 2020 Chapbook Prize. For more, visit coreyjboren.com.